It can come in many forms... from break ups to races, broken promises to broken dreams.
The more you invest in something, the more it hurts. This goes with people you've let into your lives, the races you choose to run, the promises you may have made with someone else, or the dreams that now seem impossible. It hurts because you gave so much time, so much energy, so much... everything, and it seemed like nothing came out of it.
Imagine a relationship you were pursuing. Day after day, you would do your best, caring about the other person, helping the other person in need, sacrificing as much as you can for the other individual, getting closer and closer to the other. Investing your time, investing... your life so that the other person can be happy. At one point, you feel as if the hard work is paying off and you're a lot closer with girl you're pursuing and you're spurred to continue on and go after her to only be let down in a single day... it only takes a single day for her to decide that you weren't the individual she was looking for... All that hard work, everything you invested in her... gone...
Or perhaps it was a race you were running, one that you've trained for so fervently, pushing hard day after day, night after night, making sure that you were in the best shape of your life. You put in hours upon hours each day to mold yourself into the person you desired to be, an individual that would be able to win this race! You come to the race as prepared as you can be and all of a sudden, in the first mile, you twist your ankle. You can't go onward... All that effort, all that training, your hopes... crushed...
That's how I feel sometimes, when things like that happen... crushed. I put in so much work, it appeared that the direction I was going was the right way... but somehow, I failed.
and because I failed, now I feel like a failure...
But it doesn't have to end that way.
It doesn't mean that I'm a failure.
Though my heart may be in pain, my mind struggles to bring the body back up and force it to submit and understand that there will be another girl. There will be another race. There will be another chance. A time for you to rise. It doesn't have to end this way.
But sometimes, I feel like giving up. In the moment, I'm asking myself, "What's the use of trying if I'm going to end up failing again?" Why should I invest in something that probably will not bear any fruit?
When something you invested in ends up failing, you want to give up. You don't want to try anymore. You don't want to trust yourself, or anyone else anymore...
But there's a part of you that still has hope.
In the moment, hopelessness and despair may surround you, but within, there is always that 'hope'. It's what keeps us moving onward, despite the events that may have crushed our spirit. So now, I must reach for that hope, and hold desperately onto it.
As I cling, I feel a little better. Just a little bit.
I hold on because maybe, just maybe, I can rise back up again. Maybe... I might be able to succeed in round 2, or whatever round it is. Maybe, just maybe...
So though you may feel like you're on the ground... you may have invested too much into something that brought you to your knees... have faith.
"I will try one hundred times to get up, and if I fail one hundred time. If I fail and I give up, will I ever get up? No! If I fail I'll try again, and again and again. But I want to tell you it's not the end."
-Nick Vujicic
So knowing that, I know it's not the end. My heart will have to take time to heal, but I will continue on. For after hope comes faith, and with faith action, and with action, another opportunity will arise.
No comments:
Post a Comment