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Saturday, March 9, 2013

Resolving Conflicts

Ever since my sisters have been born, I believe we have butted heads against each other.  Do I still love them?  Yes!  Why?  Because they're my sisters.  Is it that simple?  Yes!  The thing is, for me, no matter what they've done, they are still my sisters.  As siblings, they do get annoying at times, but the choice is mine whether or not to love them or not... and since the foundation of my relationship with my sisters is a strong one, there is almost nothing that can take me away from loving them as an older brother should.  I have made that choice that as a brother, I would have that unconditional love for my sisters.

Will there still be conflict between my sisters and me?  Heck yeah.  We don't see everything eye to eye, so of course there will be things we don't agree on and argue.  With this in mind, it's important to resolve any conflict between individuals, because having a thorn in between you and another... doesn't feel good and isn't good for the relationship you have with the individual.  Occasionally (more so than not...) my sisters and I don't 'finish' our talk and resolve a conflict, and we're both left in a bitter spot, feeling not so good about each other... and at the same time, not so good about ourselves.  In times like that, usually one of us would go to the other and open up and apologize about the situation (not whether we were right or wrong, but how it all turned out) and in response, the other would also apologize for the situation... so why do we feel bad?  The fact is, we feel bad because deep down inside, we have the relationship with each other that yearns to grow in a positive manner, because we care about each other (unlike what our actions may be).

Let's say that you're running, and you have a pebble stuck in your shoe.  It's just a small pebble so it's not that bad... maybe slightly annoying... so you keep on running.  Gradually, that small insignificant pebble irritates your foot so much you just have to stop.  If you keep going, you'll probably end up with a blister, or having that pebble imbedded in you or something along those lines.  However, if you stop, take it out, and run, you'll feel a lot better.

The same sort of relief comes when you take time to stop, work the problem out, and continue on in life.  Sure, you're not going anywhere when you stop, but in taking the problem out, you're taking care of yourself and are able to move forward without the little things sticking to your side.

Whenever you have some sort of conflict, ignoring the conflict will only worsen the condition.  It's only if you work through the conflict and find the resolution that you can find peace.  Think about the pebbles in your shoe that needs to be taken out.  Take time out of your busy schedule, and stop.  Unburden yourself and start again.  This time, without the irritation, you can go forward at a faster and stronger pace.

(Recap on running:  Yesterday, I ran 4.08 miles in 29:04,  7:07 min/mile pace... and later that night, I went running with my roommate, running a total of 2 miles and walking 1.25 miles.  I didn't time it because the goal was to help him with his running, and mileage was more important than time... but yeah)

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