Trust

Trust... it can be hard to gain, but easily lost.  Sometimes it takes even years to regain that trust, should the situation be bad enough.  You can't lose trust over trivial things, however, should it be over something significant, then that's understandable.  A couple days ago, a few friends of mine led me on to believe a lie where the story was too unbelievable to be true... but had enough elements to it to make it a possibility.  They continued to lead me on this little story, and although I had a hard time figuring out if I should trust them or not, they finally convinced me that it was real, and trusting their words, I felt sorry about the situation and cared for what was going on... until they told me a little while later that it was just a joke.  They thought it was funny... I did not.  It was humiliating and saddening that they lied to me.  I don't know if they understood what they did to me, but it felt pretty bad on my end.

In the same way, it's so much easier to destroy than to build or rebuild things.  Whether it be your own body, your education... or anything else, building takes time and diligence.  When destroying, it doesn't take time at all, because it's just... destruction.  When I build up my body, it takes time and I have to do things the correct way in order to structure it the way I want it to be.  When I destroy it, it's so easy.  All I have to do is just do the wrong things.  When there's only a few right things and a lot of wrong things to do to get or not get to where you want, it can be clear that there are far more wrong choices.  It takes a lot of dedication, discipline, time, consistency.... a lot... to get me to become the ultrarunner that I want to be.  It only makes my life easier if I just gave that all up... but I wouldn't be able to reach my goal.

Trust, is something you build.  And when you build, it takes both quantity and quality to get you to where you need to be.  Don't lose your way, go forward, and build up that trust.  Work to build, and don't let things get destroyed.

Two days ago, I ran 7.8 miles in 57:48, an average of 7:24, while yesterday, I ran 7.37 miles in 49:57, an average of  6:47 min/mile.  Today, I'll be running again but a slower pace.  I need to build myself up slowly and carefully, working to grow and not to destroy myself.